We're taught to follow the winners. It's only natural. More people watch the Super Bowl, World Series, NBA finals and the like than they do the regular season games.

But there's a story transpiring right now in baseball that is a must follow. If you want to feel better about your team -- heck, if you want to feel better about yourself -- start following the day-to-day movements of the Washington Nationals.

You know how the 1972 Miami Dolphins used to celebrate with a glass of wine every time the last undefeated NFL team lost a game? Well, somewhere members of the 1962 Mets have to be sweating a little bit. The Mets hold the modern-day record for baseball futility, going 40-120 that not-so wonderful season.

It will take a little more losing, but the Nationals are in the Mets' neighborhood. Going into Saturday's play, the former Montreal Expos were a dismal 16-43. They're already 19 games out of first place in the National League East. Better yet, they're eight games behind Baltimore, which has the next-to-worst record in the bigs at 25-36.

But the Nationals' losing isn't the only thing that makes them worth following. Consider these things that have happened to the team in the first two months of the season:

* The team has had two jersey malfunctions. Early in the season, the "N" on their home jersey was upside down on some players' uniform tops. Then in an April 17 game against Florida, which turned out to be -- what else? -- a loss, Adam Dunn and Ryan Zimmerman -- the only Nationals players you've probably ever heard of -- took the field with jerseys that spelled "Natinals" on the front.

* With its tie to the political epicenter of America, the team sells bobbleheads of former U.S. Presidents in its team shops. Right around the time of the National Spelling Bee last month, the team put a Teddy Rossevelt bobblehead up for sale. I'm sure Teddy Rossevelt is a good guy, but he has nothing on Teddy Roosevelt, the 26th president of the United States.

* Last week, the team had to stop doing its postgame fireworks after the Washington D.C. Fire Chief was hit with some flying debris from the display. The team had fireworks after every game, win or lose. Could you imagine if they only had fireworks after wins? The team would have to set up a stand in West Quincy to sell off all of the excess after the season.

* Thanks to its futility, the team earned the No. 1 pick in this year's MLB Draft. The good news is they have the rights to San Diego State phenom Stephen Strasburg, who can throw his fastball in excess of 100 miles per hour. The bad news is that Strasburg has hired the evil Scott Boras as his agent. By the time Boras is done with the team, it won't have money left for a uniform or bobblehead spellchecker or any of those fancy postgame fireworks displays.

So if you're bumming about the Cardinals or Cubs, check in on the Nationals. It's kind of like watching one of those "World's Dumbest" shows on truTV.

Whatever's happening to the Nationals can't be nearly as bad as what's happening with your team, which should bring a smile to your face.

-- dobrien@whig.com/221-3365