Kids still say -- and do -- the darndest things, no matter what age they are, no matter how well you (think) you know them.
Take my son, Geoff, for example. I was rather surprised a couple of days ago to see his smiling mug on eBay. He was auctioning off two hours of quality time with himself to the highest bidder, or the one-time "buy it now" price of a cool $25,000.
"Ummm ... is there something I should know about this?" I asked him, via email. (Geoff lives back in Ohio, and though we usually "talk" for a couple of hours just about every night by way of email or text, he had somehow forgotten to mention this latest adventure.)
Here was his explanation:
"What fun thing could I put up to get noticed?" was his reasoning. "At first, I did it for charity but that didn't work so then I went the selfish route."
If nothing else, my son is honest. Admittedly, Geoff likes the spotlight.
At last report he told me he had received more than 1,400 hits on his auction -- but no concrete offers.
"This auction is for two hours of ‘hang time' with me," he continued. "The winner will be allowed to drive to my house and hang out with me."
Here is part of the description that Geoff, who is 31, posted on the eBay auction:
"I do not drink alcohol, use tobacco or any illegal narcotics, but we can do one of the following:
º Watch a movie on my 40-inch HDTV.
º Split a six-pack of Pepsi and discuss politics.
º Go visit one of my local friends and "chillax," as the hipsters say.
º Watch two hours of a sporting event. If it goes beyond two hours, I am going to have to ask you to leave since you only paid for two hours of my time.
Note: Buyer has to pay his or her own transportation to my home. Sorry! I'm not Travelocity!"
That's my boy.
So next I mentioned he might be wary of some of the weirdos who use the Internet for unscrupulous things, to which he said he had already thought of that and would have some "muscle" nearby just in case.
That made me feel a little better, because Eighingers are writers, not fighters. Pugilism, or anything mechanical, is simply not in our DNA.
Then I inquired about the $25,000 price tag, to which he responded, "The $25,000 buy-it-now price is just another way to make it stand out. The $50 starting bid is pretty cheap for someone to hang out with a cool fellow like myself. Eighingers do not disappoint their fans." (I have no idea where he came up with that concept.)
Whether or not this specific Internet venture of his works out, I discovered this may only be the beginning.
What's next for son Geoff, you ask? Apparently, after this rather self-absorbed cyber journey into the unknown, he's going to return to the charitable way of thinking.
"I'm gonna go back to the charity route and auction off a Skype call with me, I think," he said. "Or perhaps I will offer to tie someone's shoes. Maybe auction off my autograph on a piece of fruit."
Geoff says he hopes one of these ideas gets him noticed enough to land some sort of spot on TV.
A little charity, a little self-promotion. Nothing wrong with that, I guess.
All dreams start somewhere -- even eBay.
I just hope Geoff gives a little advance notice before the next chapter of this adventure begins. Kids, they still do the darndest things.