EIGHINGER: North Korean dictator's most intriguing qualities are his haircut and hot air

Posted: Apr. 10, 2013 9:01 am Updated: May. 8, 2013 10:15 am

At first, I felt guilty for not taking the saber-rattling from North Korea too seriously.

And I still don't.

But now, I'm ready to go to the next level with the pompous little guy in the Cold War suit who is getting way too many headlines and way too much air time.

The biggest problem I continue to have is believing anything spouted by Kim Jong-un, the country's self-proclaimed ruler forever (or whatever title he is going by this week). I mean, come on ... the guy has the worst haircut since former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. At least Blago had a decent tailor.

If you remember, Kim, or Jong-un -- I'm not sure what is proper in that woeful country's culture -- recently met with former NBA loose cannon Dennis Rodman and then started issuing more threats about targeting U.S. cities with some of his nuclear missiles. I don't mean to imply that the former Chicago Bulls player had any part in what is playing out now, I simply wonder why anyone would even care what Dennis Rodman had to say or think about ... well, anything.

If I can believe U.S. defense information, Kim, or Jong-un, has one missile that might be capable of reaching Oakland, Calif. (And before we go any further, why shouldn't I believe U.S. defense information? After all, our guys have much better haircuts and suits.)

Plus, I'm sure if North Korea was actually able to launch a missile -- which is questionable at best, given its track record -- it would be blown out of the air long before it ever got close to a U.S. shoreline. So who is Kim, or Jong-un, kidding?

The New York Times reported the North Korean dictator is a fan of musician Eric Clapton, which makes sense. The Times also reported he is a big fan of actor Keanu Reeves, which makes no sense. And don't even try and tell me Kim, or Jong-un, liked or even understood those "Matrix" movies.

The website said the North Korean ruler's zany haircut started a trend among his countrymen. Who knows about that one. Maybe Blago has some relatives living over there.

If any further proof were needed that Kim, or Jong-un, is a certified nut case, did you see some of the propaganda that touted some of North Korea's alleged nuclear targets were Los Angeles, Washington, D.C. and ... Austin, Texas?

Austin, Texas?

What, is Kim, or Jong-un, another upset Longhorns football fan? Texas fans are unhappy these days with their football team, but I have seen no hint of wanting to nuke Bevo.

When word of Austin being a "target" of Kim, or Jong-un, political activist Karl Rove wondered if the North Korean leader was an Oklahoma fan. (Oklahoma is the chief football rival of Texas.)

Another comment, this one from singer-songwriter Ray Wylie Hubbard, asked, "I didn't know Kim Jong-un was an Aggie." (The Texas A&M Aggies are another Texas rival.)

Stevie Johnson, a football player for the Buffalo Bills, wondered if North Korea's first missile strike could take out the home of the rival New England Patriots.

Obviously, I'm not alone in not taking Kim, or Jong-un, too seriously.


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