EIGHINGER: Summer heat appears to be affecting decision making

Posted: Jul. 1, 2014 6:12 pm Updated: Sep. 24, 2014 9:15 am

We're not even halfway through the summer, and it appears those with questionable decision-making traits are already being affected by too much sun.

Here's the latest edition of "Morons of the Month":

Bronze medal

Christopher Mitchell of England, who is reportedly known as "Biggie" and "Fatboy," was arrested when police officers found cocaine and 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his stomach fat.

The drugs were found when police officers pulled him over for a traffic violation.

Mitchell was questioned by the officers because he was too large to wear a seat belt.

Officers became suspicious when he began acting nervously as they spoke to him.

A drug dog was brought to the scene and eventually sniffed out the drugs.

A search of the vehicle found a semi-automatic handgun and more than $7,000 in cash stuffed into a tube sock.

Mitchell was charged with drug possession -- and not wearing a seat belt.

Silver medal

I hate spiders as much as the next guy. Those creepy little legs hanging from those creepy little strands of web. Ugh.

But would I burn my house down trying to kill one? Incredibly, more than one person has.

A woman in Hutchinson, Kan., is charged with arson after police say she set her home on fire during an attempt to kill a spider, according to a report in the Hutchinson News.

Ginny M. Griffith, 34, told officers she used a cigarette lighter to set some towels on fire in hopes of catching the little arachnid with the flaming towels and burning it to death. The blaze needed five units from the local fire department to subdue.

Folks, there are better methods to control pests. Fire should not be an option, yet Griffith was not first to go this route. Consider:

In April, a Florida man burned down his apartment trying to kill bugs with fire.

In 2013, a woman in Texas burned her house down while trying to light a snake on fire with gasoline.

And in 2012, a California woman set her house ablaze trying to clear spiderwebs -- with a blowtorch.

Gold medal

My first question when I read about this was, "I wonder if this guy has business cards?"

It seems a Swedish man, who was born Alexander Ek, enjoys changing his name to the point it has become an addiction.

Ek's legal name now stands at more than 60 first names, believed to be some sort of world record. It's a name that has been costly for Ek -- literally. reports that Sweden grants each citizen the right to one free name change. After that, it's 1,000 kronor, or about $184, for any additional change. And since age 18, Ek has altered his name six times.

Here's what is believed to be the most recent update to Ek's first name:

Kim-Jong Sexy Glorious Beast Divine Father Lovely Iron Man Even Unique Poh Un Winn Charlie Ghora Khaos Mehan Hansa Kimmy Humbero Uno Master Over Dance Shake Bouti Bepop Rocksteady Shredder Kung Ulf Road House Gilgamesh Flap Guy Theo Arse Hole Im Yoda Funky Boy Slam Duck Chuck Jorma Jukka Pekka Ryan Super Air Ooy Rusell Salvador Alfons Molgan Akta Papa Long Nameh Ek.

Ek said in published reports that he does not see much downside to all of his name(s).

"I don't always get my mail and sometimes the electricity bill is late, but that's part of the charm," he said.

I'd still like to see one of his business cards.


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