Steve Eighinger

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Jun. 19, 2018 2:20 pm

They're ba-a-a-ack.

It's once again time to honor those misguided individuals who run afoul of the law. We like to refer to them as our "Morons of the Month."

This is Vol. 114 of an ongoing saga we started nearly a decade ago:

Bronze medal

R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two Detroit patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children.

When Gaitlin asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his driver's license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested him because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in another town.

Silver medal

Dennis Newton, who was on trial for the armed robbery of an Oklahoma City convenience store, fired his lawyer before a district court appearance. He decided he would handle his own case.

By most reports, Newton, 47, was doing a decent job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber.

Newton jumped up, accused the manager of lying, and then said, "I should have blown your ... head off!"

The defendant paused, then quickly added, "If I'd been the one that was there."

The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year prison sentence.

Gold medal

Give Kennecia Posey some credit. Her lie was at least a creative one.

When police found a bag of cocaine in the purse of Posey, 26, a Florida resident, she offered a novel explanation. Posey said the wind must have blown it in there.

Posey was a passenger in a swerving car that officers pulled over. When approaching the vehicle, the officers noticed a strong odor of marijuana.

During a subsequent search of the car, according to multiple media reports, one officer found separate bags of pot and cocaine inside a purse that had been on Posey's lap.

According to the police report, Posey said the marijuana was hers but claimed to be surprised by the cocaine.

"I don't know anything about any cocaine," she said. "It's a windy day. It must have flown through the window and into my purse."

Even though the officers were hardly expert meteorologists, they didn't believe Posey's weather-based theory and arrested her.

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