Steve Eighinger

Who's ready for spring?

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Aug. 23, 2018 9:25 am

It's hard to believe, but fall is right around the corner.

I know, I know ... it's difficult to accept, but school has already started in some areas; the family vacations are history; those warm, muggy days will soon be a memory; and football season is ready to kick off.

The fall season tends to trigger a feeling of warmth for many. The visions of cooler days and even cooler evenings are coupled with those of an occasional bonfire and Friday nights spent rooting for your favorite high school football team.

Sounds awesome, eh?

For me, not so much.

If football season and the World Series were not a part of autumn, I'm not sure we would even need to discuss September, October and November.

I usually look at the world through rose-colored glasses, but autumn is a tough call. Here's why:

º Winter is on the way. Fall is the final piece of the puzzle that links spring and summer to the absolute worst part of the year -- winter. I would much rather endure 90-degree days and front yards that resemble burnt toast than try to deal with automobiles that won't start and shoveling snow in 10-below weather.

º Leaves have to be raked in the fall. Over and over and over and over. Even when there are no leaves on the trees, they mysteriously appear in my yard.

º Christmas decorations and ornaments will start appearing in many stores about Oct. 1. That's about six weeks from now, and that's not right. The Christmas season -- despite being in the middle of winter -- is a glorious time, and one that I truly enjoy. But it should not start four weeks before Halloween.

º Once September rolls around, the days start becoming way too short. Before you know it, the sun is setting at like 2:30 in the afternoon. You go to bed in the dark, you get up in the dark, and it's dark before you even get home from work.

The early sunsets really tick me off, and it all starts in the fall. Sadly, it only gets worse later in the year, when at some point during the winter months, we won't even see the sun for weeks at a time. We might as well be living in Juneau.

º Diets are impossible to navigate in the fall. We start spending more time inside, more time watching TV, more time with no actual movement, and before we know it, we have to go to our favorite clothing outlet for a slightly bigger pair of pants. And belt. And it's all because of fall.

º In the last-but-not-least department, as the weather continues to cool in the fall, the less ice cream we want to eat. Eating ice cream in 30-degree weather is simply no fun. You would think by not eating (as much) ice cream in the cooler weather, it would keep me in the same size of pants, but it never works that way. Maybe it's the extra pizza I eat to keep warm.

I don't know about you, but I'm ready for spring.