Steve Eighinger

Seriously, clam-flavored candy canes?

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Oct. 9, 2018 11:00 am

The Christmas season may never be same.

At least the eating part of the Christmas season.

Seattle-based novelty dealer Archie McPhee -- which prides itself in the tagline "We make weird" -- is offering a couple of new confectionery curiosities.

Both are from the candy cane family of goodies. The first is mac-and-cheese flavored candy sticks, The other, and I hope you are sitting down while reading this, clam-flavored candy canes. Or "clamdy canes," if you will.

Both the mac-and-cheese and clamdy canes are on sale now for $5.95 per six-pack. The mac-and-cheese "sweets" come in a set of six yellow-and-white-striped, 5.25-inch sticks. The clamdy canes are the same size and are gray and white.

I'm not sure whether or not I should be excited about this or be reaching for the Pepto.

I can't imagine myself ever trying either of those items, so I looked for someone who had. I finally found someone who had been brave enough to sample the clamdy canes.

"The candy canes consist of sugar, flavoring and color, so there's no actual clam ...," said critic Constantine Spyrou, a contributor to "Still, a clam candy cane is worth a taste, even if it is just once for scientific purposes. It took me a full day to muster up the courage to try this candy cane, but eventually, that first lick came ... and was instantly regretted.

"The first odor to hit your nostrils is a whiff of clam juice, which confuses your brain when combined with the sweet sensations of the sugar on your taste buds. It's a combination that is not inviting in terms of sensory appeal, even if you try to stick it out and go for a few extra licks."

Wow. Never before have I heard the words "clam juice" used in reference to a candy-related item.

Apparently, the mac-and-cheese candy canes have a chance at public acceptance. Why, I'm not sure, but I failed to find any truly negative reviews about them.

"It's like comfort food-flavored comfort food!" the Archie McPhee website description reads. "Macaroni and cheese has become a holiday family tradition in many parts of the country, so why not let our holiday candy reflect that?"

Food blogger JunkFoodMom reviewed the mac-and-cheese concept on Instagram, saying, "This one isn't bad! Smells like cheese and tastes like mac-n-cheese, but the sweetness overpowers the flavor eventually, so it's doable."

Oh, and if you still can't wrap you head around the idea of clam or mac-and-cheese for a flavor of candy canes, Archie McPhee also sells bacon and rotisserie chicken-flavored candy canes.

And did I mention that the company also makes gravy candy and bacon gumballs?