Steve Eighinger

This month's medalists prove once again crime does not pay

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Jun. 14, 2019 12:01 am

It's that time again.

Once every 30 days or so we pay homage to our "Morons of the Month," those who thought crime would be a good idea but may have been lacking in the planning or execution portions of such a deed.

Here's our medal winners for June, plus an honorable mention selection:

Honorable mention

Scottish shoplifter Aron Morrison was arrested up after stealing a bottle of vodka from a liquor store. It didn't take long for local authorities to apprehend Morrison.

Before leaving with the stolen vodka, Morrison asked the clerk out on a date and left her his name and phone number.

Bronze medal

In Salinas, Calif., a security camera picked up 33-year-old Roberto Daniel Arroyo about 5 a.m. one day licking the doorbell of a random homeowner.

The camera showed Arroyo continuing to lick the doorbell for about three hours and also caught him relieving himself in the yard.

Arroyo was charged with theft, prowling and other violations.

The owners of the home in question, when seeing the recording, cleaned the porch and bleached the doorknobs.

The incident gained national attention and inspired #doorbelllicker on Twitter.

Silver medal

After a night of drinking, two Arkansas men decided to test the durability of a bulletproof vest -- by shooting each other.

Charles Eugene Ferris, 50, and Christopher Hicks, 36, ended up in the hospital, where they told investigators they were shot after they were hired for a secret mission, according to information supplied by the Benton County Sheriff's Office.

But when Ferris' wife showed up at the hospital, she had a different story to tell. She said the men had been drinking on Ferris' back porch when he asked Hicks to shoot him. Although the vest stopped the bullet, it still left a painful mark on Ferris' chest. That upset Ferris, so when Hicks put on the vest, Ferris "unloaded the clip into Christopher's back," according to an affidavit.

Both men were arrested and charged with felony aggravated assault. Before releasing them on a $5,000 bond, a judge issued a no-contact order between the men. They each face up to six years in prison and a maximum $10,000 fine

Gold medal

Bad choice No. 1: Two men -- Joseph McInnis III, 21, and Tyree McCoy, 22 -- decided to rob a bar in Baltimore.

Bad choice No. 2: That bar, Monaghan's Pub, was located across the street from a police station.

Bad choice No. 3: Monaghan's Pub was hosting a retirement party for a local police sergeant the night McInnis and McCoy decided to try and pull of the heist.

McInnis and McCoy entered the bar, pointed guns at the cashier and demanded money.

Fox News reported the police sergeant's retirement party was in a back room of the pub, and once word of the robbery reached the officers, the policemen quickly put an end to the situation and apprehended both would-be thieves.

McInnis and McCoy were charged with armed robbery and theft, among other offenses, are not likely to be involved in any more illegal activity for quite some time.