Steve Eighinger

Brooke Shields quote remains No. 1

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Jun. 27, 2019 12:01 am

Some people collect baseball cards. Some prefer antiques, or maybe recipes.

I have always been a connoisseur of famous celebrity quotes.

For years, whenever I have come across a quote that made me laugh I have tried to file it away for some rainy day when I need a good chuckle.

Every so often, I like to page through those memorable remarks, rearranging them in the order I find to be most hilarious.

Today's one of those days.

Here are my favorite celebrity -- and in some cases, the term is used loosely -- quotes that can always bring a smile to my face. My top five, plus a bonus pick:

º Honorable mention: "When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal." -- Richard Nixon.

That remark was made in 1977 with famed interviewer David Frost, and I still find it quite entertaining.

º No. 5: "It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people." -- Axl Rose.

To say the Guns N Roses front man has a checkered career would probably be a major understatement. Long after his music is forgotten, this quote will always keep his name alive.

º No. 4: "I get to go to overseas places, like Canada." -- Britney Spears.

Granted, Britney has said -- and done -- a lot of outrageous things in her still-young life, but this remark may capture the essence of her thought process the best.

º No. 3: "The word ‘genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -- Joe Theismann.

Theismann was often guilty of comical malaprops as a Monday Night Football analyst. This one, however, is my all-time favorite.

º No. 2: "I'd rather be dead than singing ‘Satisfaction' when I'm 45." -- Mick Jagger.

Mick, Mick, Mick ... I often wonder how many times you has regretted saying that. For those unaware, the Rolling Stones' lead singer since their 1962 inception, uttered those now-infamous words in June 1975. According to quoteinvestigator.com, that would have made Mick 31 years old at the time. Forty-four years -- and one heart procedure -- later, Mick is still belting out those same lyrics.

º No. 1: "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost an important part of your life." -- Brooke Shields.

Shields said this when she was 16 and a spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign. Unfortunately, it has haunted her for the past 38 years.?º Oh, and one other thing. I collect baseball cards, too. But not so much antiques or recipes.