Steve Eighinger

August simply brings us one month closer to October

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Aug. 1, 2019 12:01 am

In case you have not looked at a calendar today, it's Aug. 1. The start of school is right around the corner and summer is on its last legs.

August has never had a lot going for it. Between now and the end of the month we are guaranteed to experience high temperatures and extreme humidity. That's a big "ugh" on both accounts.

There's also no major holidays in August, unless you count National Underwear Day, which is Monday for those planning some sort of celebration.

So where exactly does August rank among the other months? Here's one man's opinion:

12. January: Subtract the bowl games and NFL playoffs, January is a depressing wasteland. The sun rarely breaks through, making this month even gloomier.

11. February: At least February offers Valentine's Day and a lot of chocolate. Otherwise, it would be January's twin.

10. November: The skies turn gray, the first serious snows of the season tend to arrive and the temperatures require winter clothing most days. Thanksgiving celebrations are nice and Ohio State vs. Michigan football games are always magical, but all in all, November is simply January and/or February minus the icy road conditions.

9. March: Name one good thing about March, other than it serves as a stepping stone to April (see No. 5).

8. August: This is the March of hot weather. Not a whole lot going for it, outside of there's a pretty good chance it will not snow in August.

7. September: This month never knows whether it is supposed to be warm or chilly. That confusion drives me nuts, but at least there's usually no snowfall.

6. June: These 30 days serve to get us ready for the heat and mosquitoes that often accompany July, but in July we don't care.

5. April: I've always been a fan of April, because it has what is my favorite non-holiday day of the year: Opening Day of baseball season. The anticipation April brings always makes it special.

4. July: Unless you're a sports fan, this is the worst month for television because of all the reruns. That aside, July is normally the perfect warm-weather month when memorable vacations are born. "July is summer. Summer is July," writer Leonora Epstein once penned.

3. May: Spirits begin to brighten about this time every year. We know warm weather is on the way and May also offers that awesome three-day, Memorial weekend holiday.

2. December: The often-frigid temperatures are offset by the warmth of Christmas and family gatherings. December is the only month when falling snow is actually welcome.

1. October: This is as close to a perfect 31-day period as you'll find. Generally speaking, October is never warm enough to be uncomfortable, yet rarely cool enough to demand more than a light jacket or sweater.

October also gives us the World Series, plus Friday nights, Saturday afternoons and all-day Sunday viewings of football, football and more football.

October is also the most colorful month with the turning of the leaves and the colorful end zone designs at those aforementioned football games. Sure, those leaves will eventually fall and need to be raked, but that's usually done in November. And that's another reason to dislike November.