Steve Eighinger

Meet September's 'Morons of the Month' winners

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Sep. 12, 2019 12:01 am

The kids are back in school, the leaves will soon begin to change, and footballs are flying everywhere.

It's September, and autumn and all of its trappings are definitely a topic of conversation. So are the "Morons of the Month," who prove a simple change of season will not stand in the way of questionable -- and often comical -- behavior. 

Bronze medal

At least Dave Schmida was successful -- sort of.

Schmida, 21, of Sturbridge, Mass., set out last month determined to get rid of a hornet's nest three stories high under a corner of his family's roof. He first tried spraying the nest with Raid, but that had little or no effect.

So he got creative.

Dave lit up some Roman candles and pointed them at the nest in question, reported the Worcester Telegram newspaper. The first two or three missed their mark, but when his ammunition finally connected with the nest, it burst into flames.

While the wasps were killed, the eaves of the house caught on fire. By the time the flames were extinguished, there were holes in the house.

"I would say mission accomplished," Schmida said.

Well, sort of.

Silver medal

Apparently, Larry Adams had enough.

Adams, 61, of Daytona Beach, Fla., became rather upset one evening last month, complaining that his neighbors were playing their music too loudly in the parking lot of their apartment complex.

Adams emerged from his apartment threatening to shoot them and brandishing nunchucks, which he then accidentally hit himself in the head with -- just before he began spraying everyone with roach repellent.

Police officers responding to a 911 call told a local TV station that the roach repellent caused those sprayed to cough and their skin to burn.

"We are not even roaches, so why are we getting sprayed with roach spray for?" said Cici Sylvester, one of the spray-ees.

Adams, sporting a goose egg on his forehead, was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

Gold medal

This is a collective medal being awarded to fast-food workers at a certain Texas establishment.

Earlier this month, at a fast-food location in Bastrop, Texas, a mouse scampered across the food preparation counter as customers watched. For the record, one of those customers captured the whole scene on video, according to the Austin American-Statesman newspaper. The mouse eventually jumped into a fryer full of hot grease, presumably with someone's order of fries.

On the video, an employee can be heard asking, "Who else needs a refund?" That same video was posted to Facebook, prompting representatives of the fast-food restaurant to comment that the location was closed shortly afterward and "the entire restaurant has since been cleaned and sanitized."

I'm just guessing, however, that business has not been quite the same since.