Our monthly tribute to the wackiness -- and tackiness -- of Facebook is back for Vol. II.
Names have been removed to protect the innocent, or guilty, depending on the post.
These are our favorites for September:
º "My wife said I never listen to her ... or something like that."
My thought: I listen to everything The Little Woman says, but that's not necessarily synonymous with remembering everything she says.
º "Who's ready for cool weather and a big pot of chili?"
My thought: Cool weather? Yes? Cold weather? No. Chili? Always.
º "One week until fall."
My thought: Even though football season has arrived, which, of course, is the first true sign of fall, it's not officially autumn until that first morning when you need to wear a sweatshirt.
º "You know it's fall in Florida when the license plate colors begin to change."
My thought: I'll have to ask Bill Adam about that.
º "Never underestimate a woman who understands football."
My thought: I've never really had to deal with that.
º "I don't try to annoy people, it's just a gift."
My thought: My wife of almost 21 years, Kathy, often asks me if I am trying to do just that -- annoy her. And on more than one occasion, I have replied, "No, it's just a gift." True story.
º "How to eat candy corn: 1. Open bag. 2. Pour candy corn into garbage can. 3. Eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup."
My thought: Does anyone truly like candy corn?
º "Good judgment comes from experience. And experience? Well, that comes from poor judgment."
My thought: I would have to honestly say I am quite experienced.
º "They say 40 is the new 30 and 50 is the new 40. All I know is the older I get the more 9 p.m. is the new midnight."
My thought: More evenings than not, 9 p.m. seems to be nap time in the mancave -- a quick siesta so I can stay awake for the second half of whatever game I am watching.
º "Being old doesn't seem so old now that I AM old."
My thought: I wake up every day feeling like a 20-year-old, then reality resurfaces when I notice the gray hair and feel the assorted aches and pains. But inside, I'm still that 20-year-old!
º "I'm so old I remember when multiplication was called 'times tables.'"
My thought: OK, now I feel even older.
º "Stop complaining about your life. There are literally people who are Miami Dolphins fans."
My thought: I feel their pain. I'm a Browns fan.
º "The youngest sibling is usually the most good looking and the smartest."
My comment: I was born 16 years after my brother. Just sayin'.
º "Never underestimate a grandmother who listens to Bob Seger."
My thought: Or Rod Stewart.
º "We repair what your husband fixed."
My thought: This is an actual repair slogan on the side of a van. I forwarded it to my wife.
º "Just pour the coffee and back away slowly."
My comment: No, this post was not from my wife.
º "You can tell Halloween is just around the corner because Walmart is bringing out their Christmas stuff."
My thought: This would be even funnier if not so true.
º "Be yourself. People don't have to like you. And you don't have to care."
My thought: That seems like the perfect way to way to end today's column. See you again on Tuesday.