Steve Eighinger

It's a new year, but moronic behavior remains

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Jan. 7, 2020 12:01 am

One of my personal resolutions for the new year was to try and dig even deeper into news reports across the nation for those candidates worthy of our "Morons of the Month" feature.

Not all monthly medal winners are required to do have done something moronic in a major fashion. After all, the degree of questionable behavior is often in the eye of the beholder.

With that in mind, here is the first batch of "Morons of the Month" for 2020:


Bronze medal

At one time or another, I'm guessing anyone reading this has probably thought about what it might be like to do what this particular woman did in Crossville, Tenn. (The big difference is, we only thought about doing it.)

Sally Selby, 45, was pulled over by police while "driving" in the slow lane on Main Street in Crossville -- in one of those electric shopping scooters supplied at Walmart.

Media reports of the incident said Selby told police she was driving it to a nearby Waffle House to get a cup of coffee. Initially, Selby claimed the cart belonged to her.

Investigators said surveillance video showed Selby enter Walmart and begin shopping with the store-supplied scooter. She later exited Walmart, drove through the parking lot and headed toward Waffle House.

Selby was arrested and charged with theft of property.

For those wondering, the scooter was later returned to Walmart.


Silver medal

I'm still wondering what in the world Derel Largent was thinking a couple of weeks ago when he walked into a Target store in Wichita Falls, Texas.

Multiple accounts say Lergent stole almost $400 worth of items from Target -- and then tried to re-sell the items in the parking lot immediately outside the store.

Police reports indicated Lergent had stolen a phone, a Roku device, bedsheets, a Dallas Cowboys shirt and a handful of other items.

Loss prevention officials for Target said Largent was recorded exiting the store without paying for the items.

Lergent is currently residing in the Wichita County jail.


Gold medal

Fox News reported a man in Kansas was arrested for driving a stolen SUV to bail out his brother, who -- drum roll, please -- had been jailed only hours earlier for stealing a separate SUV.

The first brother apprehended was 36-year-old Eric Dean McCracken. He was arrested for driving a Chevy Trailblazer with a suspended license, the Jackson County Sheriff's Office said. Police later revealed they learned the SUV had been reported stolen.

Hours later, his younger brother, 32-year-old Keith Ray McCracken, was arrested after leading deputies on a short chase in a stolen 2015 Chevy Silverado that authorities were tracking through its GPS.

Police officers said it is believed that the younger McCracken was en route to the Jackson County Jail to post bail on his older brother in the stolen vehicle.

The McCrackens were eventually reunited -- in jail.