Steve Eighinger

Valentine's Day can be a slippery slope

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Feb. 13, 2020 12:10 am Updated: Feb. 13, 2020 12:17 am

Valentine's Day may trigger the widest range of emotions in human beings.

Think about it. The day itself can be as complex as the emotion it supposedly celebrates.

If ever there is a "holiday" to properly tiptoe around, under and/or through it is Valentine's Day.

A successful Valentine's Day for any couple -- married or otherwise -- often means not only buying the correct or proper gift, but in the right or expected amount, size and/or color.

And then there's the Valentine's Day card. Too mushy? Not mushy enough? With a hand-written, heartfelt message -- or not?

Judging by some comments I am about to share, I'm obviously not alone when it comes to this particular day. Thanks a lot, Cupid.

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." – Charles M. Schulz, cartoonist.

My thought: You realize he's not kidding, don't you?

"Without Valentine's Day, February would be…well, January." – Jim Gaffigan, comedian.

My thought: Not to mention less confusing and cheaper.

"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not." -- Albert Einstein, know-it-all.

My thought: He nailed it!

"Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile." -- Sean Connery, actor best known for his role as James Bond.

My thought: He's James Bond! Everything always works out for James Bond!

"Valentine's Day: The holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone." -- Lewis Black, comedian.

My thought: Wow, that's kind of a downer.

"A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days." -- Tim Allen, comedian.

My thought: He is so-o-o right. When I met Kathy, I didn't care if the Cleveland Indians won or lost -- for about a month, but then it was time for the playoffs, and I regained my focus.

"Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women; a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom." -- Jerry Seinfeld, comedian.

My thought: Or at least one or the other.

"Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are." -- Will Ferrell, comedian.

My thought: In all honesty, my wife could say those exact words with me in mind.

"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her." -- Agatha Christie, mystery author.

My thought: I wonder where a reporter falls on Agatha's scale?

"Sometimes the love of your life comes after the mistake of your life." -- Anonymous.

My thought: Yeah, we kid a lot about it, but love not only (still) makes the world go round, it can provide a much-needed emotional bridge in the darkest of times. There will always be plenty of pitfalls associated with affairs of the heart and the world in general, but love is that common denominator that makes all impossible things possible.

Happy Valentine's Day!