Steve Eighinger

At least the murder hornets decided to wait

By Herald-Whig
Posted: Aug. 4, 2020 12:01 am

Have you recently had one of those days when it seemed like anything that possibly could go wrong did?

Yeah, me too.

What usually helps me put a positive cap on that kind of day is to spend some quality time in my favorite recliner, comforted by a glass of Classic Coke with plenty of ice -- and a trip through my daily dose of Facebook.

No matter how bad a day you may have endured, there's always something or someone that can raise your spirits on Facebook.

Here are some of my favorite findings over the past month on this edition of "Found on Facebook":

"You know when you buy a bag of salad and it gets all brown and soggy? Cookies don't do that."

My thought: Not sure about "A," but I can guarantee "B."

"If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then how in the heck did it fall off?"

My thought: This is a pretty deep thought for Facebook.

"First, coffee. Then we move on today's episode of ‘Now What?!'"

My thought: Seriously, that sums up just about every day right now, doesn't it?

"I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit. It's a Lamb Bikini."

My thought: This is a classic, no matter how bad your day may have been.

"It doesn't matter if you flips burgers, bricks or houses. Just don't sit on your rear all day flipping channels."

My thought: Well said. Very, very well said.

"Is it wrong that only one company makes the Monopoly game?"

My thought: I've been on this earth for close to 67 years and never thought of that. This is now going to bother me the entire day.

"My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not."

My thought: Hey, it's been rough four or five months.

"Rise up and attack the day with enthusiasm."

My thought: Yeah, right. Try that one again on Friday.

"Remember that one girl from high school who said she'd only go out with you if the world was ending. Well, this may be the year to give her a call."

My thought: OK, how many reading this are actually considering that possibility?

"Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the heck happened."

My thought: Yep, there sure is ...

"Fishing is the art of jigging, spinning, casting or trolling ... while freezing, sweating, swatting or swearing."

My thought: And that's exactly the reason(s) why I'm not a fisherman.

"Shoutout to the murder hornets for have the decency to be like, ‘We'll come back when it's more convenient for you.' "

My thought: Arguably, the only thing that has gone right since mid-March.

"Sometimes all you can do is just hang on."

My thought: That, more than anything else I've read in recent days, pretty well sums up the world we live in right now.