Another month, and another series of Facebook comments I happen to find hilarious.

Here’s the latest edition of “Found on Facebook”:

• “$29.95 for a club sandwich and fries? I asked the waitress and she said it’s usually $6.95, but the cost of lumber is so high it was the four toothpicks that drove the price up.”

My thought: First it was toilet paper, and now lumber. Where will it all end?

• “If you see me jogging, please kill whatever is chasing me.”

My thought: For the record, the last time I can remember jogging was 1977, maybe 1978.

• “The two fire trucks raced each other to the blaze at the mortuary. It was a dead heat.”

My thought: I heard that groan. It wasn’t that bad.

• “Can’t believe someone stole our limbo stick. Seriously, how low can you go?”

My thought: Seriously, who thinks these things up?

• “Once you lick the icing off a cupcake it becomes a muffin. Muffins are healthy.”

My thought: I’m pretty sure that’s some kind of culinary law.

• “The fact there’s a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated numbers.”

My thought: I always appreciate when rock and religion combine their efforts.

• “In 20 years, our country will be run by people who were home-schooled by day drinkers.”

My thought: The long-term effects of the pandemic will not be seen for years to come.

• “Changing the toilet paper roll does not cause brain damage.”

My thought: No, but it may cause a few divorces.

• “Hot sauce is just sexy ketchup.”

My thought: I’m not a condiment lover, so neither sounds appealing.

• “They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog about to puke. Nothing gets you out of bed faster.”

My thought: Anyone who has ever been a dog owner is smiling right now.

• “What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna 1, Anna 2.”

My thought: If you read that and thought of “The Lawrence Welk Show” you are a member of my generation.

• “If you can’t say anything nice, at least make it funny.”

My thought: Words to live by. Just ask my friends … or wife.

• “Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.”

My thought: Ouch.

• “We don’t have a welcome mat at the front door because we’re not liars.”

My thought: If you ever visit Kathy and I, please note we have a welcome mat by our front door.

• “Life is hard, but it’s harder when you’re stupid.”

My thought: I know. Oh, how I know.

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