Steve Eighinger Column Sig

The January edition of “Morons of the Month” has a bit of global flavor tied to our latest collection of embarrassing situations.

If nothing else, we can take comfort in knowing a lack of common sense is not a malady solely belonging to the United States. With that in mind, it’s time for this month’s medal winners, plus an honorable mention pick:

Honorable mention

A Washington State Patrol officer pulled over a motorist on Interstate 90 near North Bend in early December 2020 after noticing the vehicle’s “super dim” headlights, patrol spokesman Rick Johnson told CNN.

Closer inspection revealed the unnamed driver had duct-taped flashlights to the front of his vehicle to replace the headlights, which had been damaged in a crash.

Johnson said the unnamed driver also had a suspended license.

“I don’t know of any car manufacturer that duct tapes flashlights to the front of their cars upon sale,” Johnson told a local TV station. “But you know, I guess this is 2020, right?”

Bronze medal

Readers of Radio France Internationale’s website were alarmed shortly before Thanksgiving.

The website reported the passing of dozens of world leaders and celebrities. Obituaries for Queen Elizabeth II, Clint Eastwood, soccer legend Pele and about 100 others were posted and not taken down for a couple of hours.

The station later issued a statement apologizing to “those concerned” and noted that the prewritten obituaries were accidentally posted when the website was moving the information to a new content management system.


Prewritten obituaries are a common practice among major media outlets. They have the stories ready in case of the sudden or unexpected death of a world-famous personality.

Silver medal

Governmental restrictions tied to the COVID-19 pandemic have been a worldwide problem for businesses, including those in Nottingham, England.

The 400 Rabbits tequila bar in Nottingham recently applied to the local registrar general to be declared a place of worship, namely the Church of the 400 Rabbits. It’s an effort to allow customers back inside the establishment, something that is currently prohibited by local COVID restrictions.

Media outlets report the request is not expected to be approved.

Gold medal

Police constable Simon Read of England’s Cambridgeshire Police has been fired for switching prices on a box of doughnuts.

Read, shopping while on duty and uniformed, allegedly selected a $13 box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts and replaced its barcode with one from the produce section that lowered the price to 9 cents, then went through the self-checkout line.

Authorities ruled the officer’s behavior had “undermined public confidence in the police and that his actions were incompatible with his role as a police officer.”

No word on whether Read was able to keep the doughnuts.

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